How to Slide Into DMs The Right Way: A Comprehensive Guide For The Modern Day

Linda Andress Linda Andress August 17, 2020
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In today’s tech-driven society, people most often communicate online. In 2019, for example, approximately 2.95 billion individuals accounted for social media users worldwide. With so many people active online, it’s not surprising that learning how to slide into DMs has become so popular. Sliding into someone’s DMs can be intimidating, to say the least. But nowadays, it’s one of the most common methods of communication.

Table of Contents

  1. What Does It Mean to Slide Into Someone’s DMs?
  2. How to Successfully Slide Into Someone’s DMs
  3. Avoid These DM Mistakes
  4. How to DM With Confidence
  5. What to Do When Dealing With Unwanted Advances
  6. Frequently Asked Questions

What Does It Mean to Slide Into DMs?

What Does It Mean

At some point in their online dating ventures, many have asked, “What does it mean to slide into DMs?” 

When someone slides into DMs, a user is essentially striking up a conversation with a near-stranger online. The notion of “sliding” implies that they are not afraid to send a flirty message to someone they barely know on social media sites, such as Twitter.   

How to Successfully Slide Into Someone’s DMs

Successfully Slide

When reaching out to a stranger online, a frenzy of questions and scenarios may come to mind. What makes for a good ice-breaker? How does one avoid coming across as awkward and nervous? 

To help ease the anxiety, here are a few tips for how to slide in DMs successfully in 2020: 

1. Stay Calm, Cool, and Collected

Whether in person or online, meeting someone new can be nerve-wracking. A great way to slide into DMs is to try to relax about it. 

One of the best parts about sliding into someone’s DMs is that it doesn’t have to be serious! A best practice when learning how to slide into someone’s DMs is to be silly, cute, and low-key. Stay calm and try to be open to wherever the relationship may go.  

2. Show Appreciation for Their Profile

When sending DMs, one of the biggest keys is forming a relationship with the other person. Show gratitude via Twitter or Instagram by liking their tweets or posts. Another great approach, when expressing admiration is to leave comments once there is a mutual level of comfort between the two parties.    

3. Consider the Numbers 

If someone’s follower count is in the thousands, it may be better to stay out of their direct inbox. They may not even notice notifications, especially from a stranger. If this is the case, come to terms with the fact that it may be time to move on to a new venture. 

It’s a different story if their follower count is 500 or less. This might provide a higher chance of them seeing notifications. 

4. Comment on One of Their Posts 

DMs are private and solely between the two parties involved. A person’s posts, however, are out there for the world to see. As a result, it may be best to wait to leave a comment until there is a stronger relationship. 

Coming across as desperate is not a good look. Tread carefully, whether it’s early on or much later in the relationship.    

5. Send a Reply to Their Story

There are so many questions surrounding how to slide into a girl’s DMs. A prime opportunity to do so is by finding a common interest through their IG stories. Although they expire after 24 hours, these stories often provide a closer look at someone’s day-to-day life and can be a great help in finding a mutual connection.

6. Wait for the Perfect Moment 

When it comes to social media and dating in 2020, many often wonder, “What’s the best way to slide into DMs?” Well, once both parties have liked or commented on each other’s posts, it is time to make a move. 

Get the conversation started on Instagram by replying to one of their posts with a compliment via DM. The key to Twitter is crafting a witty and well-thought-out response to their tweets.  

7. Keep Those DMs Clean and Grammatically Correct 

Sloppy messages and incorrect grammar can be a major turn-off. Before sending a flirtatious DM, be sure to double-check the spelling and punctuation. 

It’s also important to refrain from inappropriate texts, especially in the beginning. Before taking flirtation to the next level, remember that everything comes with time. 

8. Don’t Worry If Their Response Doesn’t Come Right Away 

Don’t get discouraged if a reply doesn’t come through instantaneously. Some people wait to answer until they can compose a thoughtful response. Also, keep in mind that some users only check DMs or follower requests ever so often or never.  

With social media, it can be easy to assume that people are available 24/7. Unfortunately, this is not usually the case, which can make it a little difficult for some to effectively slide into DMs. 

9. Keep It Light-Hearted by Joking Around

Humor can be a great tool in building trust and comfort. Try scrolling through their page in search of something to joke about. Be sure not to offend them, but joke about something that will, no doubt, get a conversation going. 

10. Remember: Less Is More

Just like many things in life, sometimes less is more. The key here is to slide into DMs and show the recipient that their time is valued. Refrain from sending them a lengthy DM. This may scare them away from someone who comes across too strong. Additionally, they may not want to read something so long. 

Keeping DMs short and sweet should provide ample opportunity to get any message across and pique their interest. 

11. Keep the Conversation Going 

As the relationship evolves, it’s important to keep everything flowing at a good pace. If the conversation dies down one day, keep it going by picking it up the following day. Something clever that catches their attention should be enough to keep them engaged. 

If they become unresponsive, be sure to give them some space since they may not be very absorbed in the discussion. 

12. Be Considerate of Their Time and Feelings 

One-sided conversations are not fun for either party. The person doing most of the talking may feel pressure to keep it going, while the other may begin to lose interest. 

If the recipient becomes unresponsive or does not contribute, rethink the entire communication approach. Failing to do so may cause them to stop speaking to someone they cannot relate to.   

13. Find Something Relatable to Talk About 

Relate to the other person by finding a common hobby, a friend, or a favorite place that is shared. Determine these mutual interests by exploring their page and finding out what they’re most passionate about. 

Keep the following questions in mind while looking for something relatable to talk about:

  • Are there any mutual friends in the picture? 
  • Is there a favorite place both parties enjoy visiting?
  • Is there a passion shared between the two, such as music, fashion, or sports? 

14. Take Things a Step Further by Practicing Safe Sexting

Do not jump to this step until there is consent from both sides. The key here is to be respectful in all aspects, especially when it comes to the other’s boundaries. 

While it may be tempting to send a flirty one-liner, never make them uncomfortable by being too direct. 

15. Take the Initiative to Meet in Person

Aim to create a more meaningful connection by moving communication from online to in-person. 

Little by little, try to set up a phone call or FaceTime with them. This will allow both parties to meet face-to-face or at least hear each other before meeting in real life. Once they begin to feel more comfortable, offer to go out for dinner or to a local event.    

16. Send Them Thoughtful Compliments

It may sound obvious, but something like, “OMG, you’re so beautiful/hot/pretty,” won’t exactly inspire the most profound conversations.

When complimenting someone, it helps to be specific and genuinely interested. Hit both of these marks by following-up with a question related to the compliment. 

If they’ve accomplished something big, for example, congratulate them.  

17. Respect Their Boundaries

If someone’s bio states, “Don’t DM me,” please, for the sake of everything, do not DM them. Ignoring their request signifies a lack of respect for their boundaries. Once this line has been crossed, there’s no going back. 

18. Keep Communications Meaningful and Polite

Meaningful connections often have a significant impact and help set the stage for what’s to come in the relationship. Think about this before sliding into someone’s DMs with a shirtless gym selfie. Spoiler alert: Selfies aren’t usually great to ignite meaningful communication.   

Do not rush things and remain considerate of the other person’s time and privacy. Even if they take hours to respond, do not call them out on it. Politeness always goes a long way.   

19. Meet Their Energy

Online, it can be easy for someone to come across as smooth and confident, even if they are shy in real life. To help ease nerves for both parties, try to match their energy. If someone responds with flirty emojis and smooth one-liners, don’t leave them hanging. In other words, if they respond with a winky face emoji, don’t reply with a peace sign emoji. 

Instead, meet them in the middle by matching their vibes. If they send good energy, replicate that by being equally as flirtatious or friendly. 

20. Be Realistic About Where It’s Going

Sliding into DMs should be silly, fun, or flirtatious, depending on the situation. Anything can happen, so it’s important not to have high hopes, especially in the beginning of the process. 

Be realistic about where the relationship is heading. If their responses are unenthusiastic, the communication may never move past their inbox. But, if they find topics to talk about and keep the messaging going, there may be more hope for the relationship. 

Avoid These DM Mistakes 

Avoid Mistakes

From Facebook to Twitter, sliding into someone’s DMs has become a popular modern approach to finding love and starting relationships. But it’s important to remember that there are both right and wrong ways to slide into someone’s messages. 

1. Don’t Scare Them Away 

One of the first steps in forming a relationship online is by liking or commenting on their posts. Avoid bombarding them with a hundred likes at once, but don’t be afraid to drop a like on their new post. If they do not reciprocate and, instead, leave messages unread, it may be best to drop it then and there. 

2. Take It Easy With the Emojis

If they are unresponsive or tend to reply with one-word answers, do not keep pushing. When the initial note doesn’t get them to open up, ten heart eye emojis in one text certainly won’t.  

3. Avoid Cheesy Pick-Up Lines

Cheesy pick-up lines always increase the risk of ridicule, rejection, and humiliation. Avoid the embarrassment by keeping communications simple and to-the-point. Say things in DM more or less, just like one would say them in person. This means laying off the cliché one-liners.

4. Don’t Offer Them Money

It’s never a good idea to slide into someone’s DMs by attempting to compensate them for anything. Do not suggest providing a weekly allowance or payment in exchange for a specific task or arrangement. Just don’t do it.  

5. Limit the Compliments

While compliments are always nice to receive, there are dangers with giving out too many. Overdoing it can come across as fake, insecure, and desperate.

Starting with one or two compliments can help to break the ice. As the relationship grows, feel free to send them a few more compliments little by little.   

6. By All Means, Do Not Double-Text 

To avoid coming across as desperate, be sure not to double-text. The point of sliding into DMs is to send a message to someone of interest and then wait for a response. If it never arrives, simply move on. 

7. Don’t Be a Creep

It can be shocking enough to receive a DM from a complete stranger. To avoid coming across as creepy, don’t like their posts from three years ago or come across as demanding. 

If the other person is clearly not interested, take the hint. Don’t take their unresponsiveness as an encouragement to be persistent.    

How to Slide Into DMs Smoothly 

The fear of rejection is understandably terrifying. Here are a few tips for how to slide into DMs with the utmost confidence, even when messaging a near-stranger:

  • Make the first move. Don’t be afraid to express interest in someone new via social media. 
  • Be mindful of their boundaries. 
  • Remain open to where it may go, whether that’s a long-term relationship or a platonic friendship. 
  • It’s better to expect the best, not the worst. 

What to Do When Dealing With Unwanted Advances

Unwanted Advances

When confronted with unwelcome attention, handle it as tactfully as possible. Here are a few ways to deal with an undesired DM that came completely out of the blue: 

  • Be polite. As long as they expressed their interest in a kind and non-threatening way, it doesn’t hurt to be polite. Replying with a simple, “Thanks, not interested,” acknowledges their advance without being rude. 
  • It is also okay to ignore them. Not responding to their DM will help send the message that nothing will result from their pursuit.
  • Go ghost. If the sender is not reading between the lines and continues to persist, simply block them.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is It Okay to Slide Into Someone’s DMs? 

As long as there is mutual respect from both parties and no lines are crossed, it is okay to slide into DMs. In fact, this is one of the most common ways to pursue relationships in 2020. The recipient may not feel completely off guard when they see a message. 

Is It Weird to DM Someone on Instagram?

Absolutely not! In the online dating world, receiving messages from strangers is pretty much expected. Avoid awkwardness by remaining cool, calm, and collected throughout the exchange. Relax and don’t make it awkward by rushing into a relationship.

What Does It Mean If a Girl DMs You?

That completely depends on what the recipient of the message desires. If they want to get to know the sender, they can continue the flow with meaningful responses.

If the recipient is not interested, they can let the sender down easily or with no response.  

How Do You DM a Girl You Never Met?

Getting to know a crush through a simple and friendly chat is one of the most effective ways to DM a stranger. There are many paths this venture may take, so try to stay calm and be open-minded to where the relationship may go. Taking a relaxed approach on their own terms often helps users achieve the best slide into DMs.   

If there are concerns with privacy and security, it may be best not to pursue the relationship.

Should You DM Your Crush on Instagram? 

The sender must acknowledge all of the possible outcomes when they DM a crush on IG. On the one hand, the recipient of the DM may relish in the attention and pursue a relationship or friendship. On the other hand, they may not be interested and reject the sender right off the bat. 

When thinking about how to slide into someone’s DMs, do not come across as insecure or cocky. Both can make or break the outcome.

Is It Okay to DM a Celebrity on Instagram? 

Celebrities have thousands, if not millions of followers on IG. When messaging someone famous, come to terms with the fact that they probably will not even open the DM. If these points are clearly understood, then, by all means, shoot them a message.

Sliding Into DMs Like a Pro  

Many factors go into DM sliding, from crafting messages to checking for errors. To become a pro, remember to take it slow, wait for the right moment, and remain realistic. Ready to keep the chat going? Feel free to leave a comment below, sharing even more tips for sliding into DMs like a pro.  

Published: August 16, 2020 | Updated: August 17, 2020
Linda Andress

Linda Andress

Linda’s passion is turning ideas into a successful copy. She has worked for more than eight years in the publishing industry, providing unique and varied writings. She has experience in successfully implementing PR strategies and organization, including events and meetings (congresses, industry symposiums, and training workshops). When she’s not working, she’s reading (probably 3-4 books at a time), shopping for hours in bookstores and comic book stores, playing video games or volleyball, or spending time with her family, including her two dogs, Mickey and Pete.

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